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Jan
5
Father Disapproves of Marriage and Kills Daughter, Son-in-Law, and Grandchild
Filed Under Crime/Hate Crimes, Family Issues, Gender and Sexism, International Racism, Interracial Relationships, Sociology by Rachel
This is a really depressing story, and since it clear intersects with many of the topics we deal with on this site, I wanted to post it.
A 57-year-old Indian man has been charged with killing his pregnant daughter, son-in-law and grandson by setting afire their apartment in the US state of Illinois because he was upset over her marrying a man from a “lower caste”.
Subhash Chander faces three counts of first-degree murder, one count of homicide of an unborn child and one count of aggravated arson, and was denied bail by Judge Martin E McDonough.
Monika Rani, 22, Rajesh Kumar, 36, and their son, Vansh, 3 were killed in the weekend blaze. Rani was about five months pregnant, authorities said.
Chander told police that he was upset with his daughter and son-in-law because they married without his consent and he considered Kumar to be from a “lower caste”, First Assistant State’s Attorney Robert Milan was quoted as saying by media here.
But Chander’s sister Kamla Devi said it was not true. She said the family accepted the marriage and that the caste system was not a factor to the family at all.
She claimed it was something that “people have brought up in the US since the family has immigrated from India”.
On the night of the fire, Chander went to a gas station to buy gas for his son, but decided to give it to his daughter instead. After arriving at her door, he said, Kumar told him that it was late and asked him to leave.
He told police that Kumar started to push him and some of the gas from the container in his hand spilled onto the carpet just inside the door. Chander told police that he became “upset and angry” and pulled a lighter from his pocket and set the carpet on fire.
Chander said that he did not call police or the fire department to report the fire, nor did he call his daughter to make sure she and her family were safe.
This was the third Chicago-area case in one year involving an Indian family, domestic violence and fire. NBC 5 asked counselors who serve the Indian community about that on Wednesday.
The Hamdard Center in Addison provides domestic violence counseling to more than 270 Indian and Pakistani families every year. Chairman Dr. Mohammad Hamid said the threat to family honor is a common thread in these cases, but said there is no evidence domestic violence is more common in the Indian community than other cultures.
The difference, counselors said, is that Indian families often refuse to get help before anger turns to rage.”They want to keep this a private matter and solve it at home,” said Hamid.
Relatives of Chander have insisted he did not set the fire.Counselors said if the allegations are true, this is an extreme and isolated case they hope will call attention to the problem of domestic violence in every community.
I have seen a few studies on domestic violence in South Asian families here in the US, and while it is very difficult to determine if the rates of domestic violence are higher in this group, the studies do indicate that there are numerous barriers that South Asian immigrants face in getting help in domestic violence situations. Some of those barriers are related to cultural norms, but many of the barriers are also related to lack of availability and culturally sensitive domestic violence counselors and shelters (which is true for many immigrants and native born people of color).
For those who are interested in supporting the Hamdard Center here is the link.
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11 Responses to “Father Disapproves of Marriage and Kills Daughter, Son-in-Law, and Grandchild”
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The difference, counselors said, is that Indian families often refuse to get help before anger turns to rage.
I’ve gathered that not getting help, lack of discussion, culturally insensitive shelters and lack of awareness of the U.S. legal system are the main culprits regarding APIA domestic violence.
this is just so sad.
i know a few people who have used hamdard shelter services (it is not actually a shelter house, but a network of volunteer women who open their family homes to other women in need of a place to stay). i think organizations like hamdard and saheli, etc. are only available in major cities like chicago, but they are actually more widely needed. however, i think that generally Asian people are actually suspicious of such special by and for asian shelters because people think the counselors will judge them (and having their judgement is worse than that of irrelevent non-Asians), gossip about them within the community, and in addition, many people view women’s shelters as something run by feminist westernized type Asian women who are trying to ruin family values. the only option is shelters run by non-Asians, and the whole cultural barrier thing prevents women from turning for help there. so people are really really stuck without a place to turn for help.
[...] American Muslims, Diaspora, India, Pakistan, anti-racism, personal I learned about this at Rachel’s Tavern, and have pasted excerpts from the Chicago Tribune [...]
WOW! This is seriously sad.
hairsmystory.com
The problem with journalistic style is that it allos the mind to roam free for details. While refraining from evaluation (well, sometimes there’s manipulation anyway) is the way to go, the scarcity of details leaves you with the feeling that you can hardly Think anything about a given case, and certainly not talk about it. I saw this story presented in a few differing ways on the blogosphere.
I too referred to it in a post but, as I said above, trying not to say anything, really, because the events and the motivation are a blank to me.
The article you quote here does not clarify much for me either. You probably know quite a bit more about the case, so maybe you could help me place it.
It does seem better to hold back from reading the caste issue into the story immediately. However, the father’s ‘explanation’ that he ‘happened’ to have gas with him and ‘happened’ to use a lighter doesn’t hold water for me. It makes no sense. I still see a horrid murder. And the suspicion that he intended to kill the family still stays with me.
How to approach this rationally, without denying the man the benefit of the doubt and not condoning what might have been a terrible and carefully planned murder?
“Saving face” is one of the main reasons people don’t get help. Good point, luckyfatima, about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Januaries, I would the act but not the culture or race. The best thing allies can do is support the work already on the ground.
*condemn the act* sorry.
We have also had the recent example of the cab driver in Texas who apparently murdered both of his teen aged American born daughters.
I am of South Asian stock. I grew up hearing (from my parents) about how such group was inferior, how this other group were all liars, how another group are all gay and homosexuals. And blacks; blacks you do not marry or make friends with, according to them. Both my parents are educated professionals (father engineer, mother psychologist). As I grew older, I understood that this was racism and prejudice. Imagine figuring that out about your parents, whom you love and respect. I am a history teacher today (one of the professions they consider to be inferior) and I teach against racism and prejudice. Part of it is a reaction to my upbringing.
Leo,
Do you think your experiences as a 2nd generation immigrant have contributed to your rejection of these ideas?