I was listening to V103 driving to work this morning, a popular music station here in Atlanta. There was a heated discussion going on. I’m not a fan of the DJ and local celebrity host Frank Ski, but in comparison with the guest, Frank Ski was a towering fountain of wisdom. His guest was dismissing Don Imus as irrelevant because “Imus was just repeating things heard at barber shops” and the Rutgers basketball team “weren’t the finest sisters around anyway”. The ignorance was astounding. I flipped the station just as he started talking about how going to protest in Jena was pointless. This is why I’d make a terrible professional commenter… I have limited time in my life to listen to garbage like that in order to criticize it.

In response, Frank Ski was making some good points about institutionalized racism, internalized racism and “slave mentality”. But I have to wonder… what was gained by granting his misogynist self-hating guest such a massive forum? Why do these interminable, repetitive conversations continue to fascinate so many people?

Recently, every time I hear similar criticism I think about the corresponding lack of reflexive self-criticism among white people, and wonder about its effect.

Minorities in America engage in massive amounts of self-criticism. Sometimes it’s valuable and useful, in fact vital, because it helps people move forward as individuals and in communities. Other times it’s damaging and wasteful. There’s a whole economy built up around self-criticism, particularly by African-Americans. Bill Cosby’s sold-out “what’s wrong with black people” tours come to mind. Among Asian-Americans, criticism often takes place between genders and also between generations. “FOB vs. Twinkie” comes to mind. Blame your parents, blame the men, blame the women, blame your children, blame yourself. Blaming white people is pretty far down the list for many people of color. Another example: I was reading a desi magazine called “Little India” which had an editorial called “Damn Cricket“. The next issue had a counterpoint called “Damn Those Who Damn Cricket“. Both articles seemed to accept the premise there was something fundamentally wrong with Indians that needed to be fixed. Even when self-critique is done at a very sophisticated level, it frequently ends up on a pessimistic note.

When someone tips over from self-criticism to self-hate, a responder feels the need to jump in. “We’re not that bad. We’re people with pride and strength and dignity…” Other responders are so wounded by the expression of self-hate that they overcompensate in defense, refuse to see ANY flaws and won’t be drawn into the most moderate, sensible self-critique. Back and forth should ideally be a dialectic moving us all forward. So often, it just turns into an endless seesaw. Hate of self-hate is still hate.

Some white people (e.g. Bill O’Reilly) tend to live in a bizarre mirror world where minorities “won’t take responsibility” and it’s white Christian males who are “under attack” in the “culture war”. But how many white men give sold-out lecture tours on the topic of What’s Wrong with White America? I wonder how much money Tim Wise makes in a year from his tours and books? I think sociological/anthropological critique on the academic level is often counted as “attack on the white man,” when in fact it’s undertaken from the viewpoint of an artificially ahistorical, decontextualized observer, and has nothing in common with the kind of self-critique I’m referring to.

Lack of reflexivity frees up a lot of mental space to focus on other things. There’s less anxiety. On the other hand, it may make the social thinking of white people simpler, less three-dimensional. I wonder if greater harmony in race relations will come when we are all LESS self-critical, or when we are all more self-critical, but in a balanced fashion? What do you think?

For the New Year, I’ve been thinking a lot about how to balance compassion and truthfulness. I won’t say anything worse than I already did about Frank Ski’s guest. The truth is that he hates women and he hates his own people… but I hope he eventually gains a better perspective on life.

Happy New Year!

On the post Some of My Best Friends (and Family) are Racist, I got these three comments over at Alas. I was struck my how ignorant and insensitive they were. I pasted them below. Quite frankly it’s a little too personal for me to respond easily to these comments. I have to detach myself and put on my professor hat.

First there’s Ed:

Are you a professional victim? You knew his presence would be noted and you , forgive me, seemed to enjoy rubbing their noses in the fact of his extra melanin. Oh look everyone! I am sooo superior to you because I have the metrosexuality to be with another race! Feh. In isolated areas, they need to make a personal connection with those that are not common to their experience. Did you allow them the time and place to view him as a person or did you show him off in the manner of a designer toy?

Then Jolly Wacker writes:

What!?

You had a black boyfriend. You have a demonstrably racist family.

You invited your black boyfriend to a gathering of your demonstrably racist family.

And then you have a Mary Sue breakdown because of the outcome.

Clearly, in order to show off your enlightened sensibilities about race to your family, a black man had to first walk the plank.

How many melanin enhanced men tossed over the side without a life preserver do you think might actually guilt your family into at least silent hate?

Why are you associating with your racist family anyway? Dont tell meyou think you can change them?

Had I been him I would have been appalled by your casual disregard for my dignity, your childish need for affirmation from your racist family, and then, while walking out the door, told you to go polish some other lawn jockey.

I find it quite interesting how when it comes to interracial relationships people feel the need to read between the lines and make numerous assumptions. I’m not unwise enough to think that most people support interracial relationships. In fact, only around 6% of all marriages are interracial1, and dating is a little more common but still rare. I think the fact that such relationships are uncommon is strong evidence of that the social taboo against IR’s still exists.

What is striking to me is the complete and utter lack of empathy and understand of how people in interracial relationships have to deal with family bigots. I guess it’s hard for people to square the fact that racism is contradictory. People can love someone and be incredibly racist toward that someone. They seem to have this very unrealistic sense of how pervasive bigotry is. If interracial couples stayed away from everybody who has racist attitudes and prejudices against interracial relationships, they would have to sit at home all the time. They wouldn’t have jobs, they wouldn’t have families, and they wouldn’t have a life. I think what the commenters don’t realize is how widespread and pervasive family opposition (and lack of support) are for interracial couples, and this is one area of racism where the bigotry tends to come from both sides. In black/white relationships the anti-interracial relationship attitudes are more common in white families, especially white women’s families, but opposition to IR’s (I’m going to abbreviate for the rest of the post.) is found in many families.

There are a few other interesting underlying stereotypes in these comments. Such as, interracial relationships involve ulterior motives. In this case people assumed that I had a political motivation for being in a 4 year relationship (in the end it was 5 year relationship). They also make the assumption that interracial relationships are a way to express rebellion. Those are two very common racist stereotypes of interracial relationships. Another interesting thing to note about the first comment is the fact that the author seems to give the “Get Out of Racism Free Card” to the bigoted relatives. They are supposed to be given time, as if 4 years is not enough time, and the relative in the interracial relationship is supposed to be able to determine in advance how everyone will react.

The other interesting belief that underlies these comments is the idea that interracial relationships really shouldn’t exist because people oppose them. The assumption in the comment below is that if your have racist relatives and you are in an interracial relationship you should completely disassociated from your family.

Why are you associating with your racist family anyway? Dont tell meyou think you can change them?

Had I been him I would have been appalled by your casual disregard for my dignity, your childish need for affirmation from your racist family, and then, while walking out the door, told you to go polish some other lawn jockey.

Notice how the person blames the person in the interracial relationship (not the bigot). So in this case, he believes it was my fault that my grandfather was a bigot.

The second comment also employed some very common race/gender stereotypes of white women. That we are weak, unrealistic, overly emotional, and naive.2 Gendered racism and racialized sexism always rear their ugly heads in any discussion of interracial relationships.

Now the last annoying comment deserves special consideration. I don’t think Michelle was in the same category as the others, but I do think her comment is insensitive and unrealistic.

Actually, whatever the commenter Ed did or didnt do or see correctly, his point about whether you were using your ex as object really seriously merits some self-reflection IMO.

I dont have to fully understand or agree with Ed to see the value of that point that his comment raises.

Your story presents you as a good white person to some extent, in relation to the overt racism you encountered.

And you know what, I actually do see racist objectification of your ex in this story itself. His subjectivity is not central. Instead, he is just part of a larger plot line that is centered on the subjectivities/inner realities of you and your family, the white people. He shows up in the story not as an actual person but as a Black object who the white people respond to. You have one pretty abstract line of attention to how he felt in his voice (presumably), and thats it.

You named Ed a bigot, and you locate some of the other white people in your story as racist are you exempt from being a primary perpetrator of white supremacy? You address passivity (not interrupting/calling out others racism), but I am talking about you actively perpetuating white supremacy through less overt methods, such as objectification of a person of color while maintaining the centrality and most-humanness of white people.

I responded to Michelle in this way:

Michelle, Youre treating this like a work of fiction, not like real life. The reason the story marginalizes his point of view is because it is told from my point of view, and when I talk about real life, deeply personal, and potentially painful issues, I cannot pretend to speak for someone else. Unfortunately, since he and I are no longer in contact and I cannot ask his permission to get his side of the story, I think it would be unfair to him for me to publicly discuss more intimate details of his reaction.

The story is about whiteness and racism, and how it negatively affects whites. I suppose I am reaffirming whiteness as central to this narrative, but for the time being I think it would be more offensive for me to pretend to speak for someone else and to publicly post more intimate personal details about the same person.

Im curious what you (and Ed) think a white person in a serious interracial relationship is supposed to do about their racist relatives? Should you disown youre family and make sure that your spouse or partner never has to deal with them?

I think Michelle’s comment is a little better than the other two. She has some valid points, but I think she is just going to have to accept the fact that the purpose of the post is to address whiteness and white racism, focusing on how it affects white people. I certainly do present myself in a favorable light because I don’t think there is anything wrong with introducing a partner to your family when you are in a relatively serious relationship. I didn’t go into detail in the post about any discussions my ex and I had before going to this picnic, but I guess they assume that after 4 years we never had any conversations about this topic, which is obviously not true.

I think these responses are glaring evidence of how people in interracial relationships are held to very different standards than people in same race relationships. This is part of the reason many people don’t enter interracial relationships, who wants to be held up to all of this scrutiny. I often notice that when my students find out I’m in an interracial relaitonship, they feel that it’s Ok to ask prying and personal questions. Again, it’s just more evidence of giving the bigots a free pass. Rather than focusing on why people oppose interracial relationships, let’s have a long discussion of how the targets of the racists react. Now there is certainly a time and a place for a self critique, but put that was not the purpose of the post.

Side Note: Sometimes posting over at Alas (hell, anywhere on the internet) is so mentally taxing, but honestly I’m reaching the point where I post and wait for the insulting comments to come. I’m a pretty tough person, but recounting a very difficult personal story and then watching people hurl disgusting comments is taxing.

Here are a few old posts on inappropriate questions directed at people in interracial relationships Part 1 and Part 2

  1. This figure includes Latinos as a race, and includes all possible combinations of interracial couples. Out of the 6%, figure marriages between blacks and whites are relatively uncommon. They are about 1/2%, which means for every 200 marriages 1 is between a black person and a white person. [back]
  2. If the story would have been a black woman/white man couple, I can guarantee you that I would have gotten all kinds of racist and sexist comments about black women. [back]

This is an interesting and depressing NY Times article on a spate of racist attacks in Maine.

Threat in Maine, the Whitest State, Shakes Local N.A.A.C.P.
By ABBY GOODNOUGH
Published: December 28, 2007

BANGOR, Me. In October, the N.A.A.C.P. chapter for northern Maine got shocking news. A man from a nearby town had threatened to shoot any and all black persons attending the groups meetings at an old stone church here, and state prosecutors were worried enough to seek a restraining order.

[...]

Still, Mr. Harnett said his office received 250 to 300 reports of bias incidents every year from around the state, most of them racially motivated.

Many come from Lewiston, where more than 3,000 Somali immigrants have settled in recent years. In July 2006, a group of Somalis were worshiping in a storefront mosque there when a white man rolled the head of a pig, an animal considered unclean in Islam, across the floor. And last month, a Somali student at Lewiston High School said, a white man threw sand and dirt in his face as he ran at a cross-country meet.

Last year, a white man shouted racial slurs at a pregnant black woman in Hancock, near Bangor, and kicked her in the abdomen, according to Mr. Harnetts office. And in March, Assata Sherrill, a black resident of Bangor, told the police that three white boys had thrown stones and shouted racial epithets at her as she walked her dog near the citys waterfront.

Ms. Sherrill who lives here with her teenage daughter, a high school senior who hates every minute of it and wants to attend historically black Spelman College in Atlanta says she moved to Maine from Detroit in search of tranquillity.

While a diverse population certainly doesn’t guarantee that everyone will get along, at least it creates a greater sense of protection for those in the minority if things start to go bad. I feel a strong sense of empathy for Ms. Sherrill and her family. In retrospect it was probably a bad decision to move where she did, and I’m sure she must feel some guilt over it. But many families are faced with these kinds of tough decisions and hard-to-calculate trade-offs. There is no true ideal environment.

Here’s a short post for Rachel’s new “xenophobia” category.

Some political xenophobia is wielded with cold, calculated opportunism.

Huckabee prefers a more hot-blooded mondo whacko kind of flavor.

On reading the article below, I at first felt a very selfish, materialistic sense of excitement to imagine that we might share a Southern border with Pakistan. The shopping opportunities… the rugs… tandoori… ah, it’s not to be.

Huckabee Sees Pakistan as Reason for Border Fence
By KATHARINE Q. SEELYE and DAVID D. KIRKPATRICK
Published: December 28, 2007

DES MOINES Mike Huckabee used the volatile situation in Pakistan Friday to make an argument for building a fence on the American border with Mexico and found himself trying to explain a series of remarks about Pakistanis and their nation.

On Thursday night he told reporters in Orlando, Fla.: We ought to have an immediate, very clear monitoring of our borders and particularly to make sure if theres any unusual activity of Pakistanis coming into the country.

On Friday, in Pella, Iowa, he expanded on those remarks.

When I say single them out I am making the observation that we have more Pakistani illegals coming across our border than all other nationalities except those immediately south of the border, he told reporters in Pella. And in light of what is happening in Pakistan it ought to give us pause as to why are so many illegals coming across these borders.

In fact, far more illegal immigrants come from the Philippines, Korea, China and Vietnam, according to recent estimates from the Department of Homeland Security.

Asked how a border fence would help keep out Pakistani immigrants, Mr. Huckabee argued that airplane security was already strong, but that security at the southern United States border was dangerously weak.

The fact is that the immigration issue is not so much about people coming to pick lettuce or make beds, its about someone coming with a shoulder-fired missile, he said.

The sudden emergency in Pakistan and Mr. Huckabees response come at a time when he has come under increasing scrutiny from opponents for his lack of fluency in foreign policy issues, and the situation in Pakistan appeared to have challenged him.

We have seen what happens in the Musharraf government, Mr. Huckabee said on MSNBC. He has told us he does not have enough control of those eastern borders near Afghanistan to be able go after the terrorists. But on the other hand, did he not want us going in, so what do we do? Those borders are actually on the west, not the east.

[...]

For a truly hilarious analysis of Huckabee’s foreign policy, check out this piece by my favorite Atlanta blogger, Andisheh Nouraee.

The story of Ron Paul’s ties to organized white supremacists has been developing slowly but steadily. A meticulous post at Orcinus provides some background.

Many people who have no intention of voting for him still may feel a vague liking for him. He’s anti-war. He’s libertarian, which means he at least supports individual rights… right?

There are many kinds of libertarians. I won’t break them down into categories because most of them would be highly insulting. A few are fairly harmless. But one scary and shadowy category is made up of libertarians that want states’ rights so certain parts of the country can secede into Christian Dominionist-type pure-white enclaves.

Anyway, there’s an update here:

Neo-Nazi Leader Says Paul is One of Them
Posted on: December 26, 2007 9:30 AM, by Ed Brayton

I hope you’re sitting down when you read this. Bill White, the leader of the neo-Nazi group American National Socialist Workers Party, has written on a white supremacist bulletin board that Ron Paul is secretly one of them but he has to keep that quiet to maintain his political viability…

Check it out if you’re interested in how radical white supremacist ideology interacts with mainstream politics. Whether this latest news is true or not, it’s been illuminating to follow the links.

As I slowly leave my end of the semester fog, I figured I have to come up with a good serious question.? Um, I’m having trouble.? Uh,..thinking.

Since the primary for the Presidential election is rapidly approaching, I’m curious if you’ve decided who you are going to vote for.? If you have decided, what factors helped you reach that decision?? If you haven’t decided, what are your reasons?

I saw this posted over at Mirror on America, and I have to agree. We should not be so naive as to think that people in the Clinton campaign are not directing their surrogates to play on racist and Islamophobic stereotypes of Barack Obama.

First, we have one of Clinton’s New Hampshire campaign leaders (now ex-campaign leaders) insinuating that Barack Obama is, was, or would be a drug dealer. Fortunately, Rikyrah is not afraid to call out the racial double standard:

Now, numerous previous candidates have admitted to drug use. George W. Bush spent the better part of TWENTY YEARS under some sort of influence, be it booze or drugs, and nobody EVER ASKED HIM THIS QUESTION.

But, THE BLACK MAN, who has TWO Ivy League Degrees, is ASKED IF HE’S A DRUG DEALER?

But, if Sheehan was ‘acting solo’/ ‘going rogue’, then what the hell was Mark Penn doing on Hardball with the same slime, not an hour AFTER the debate was over.

Thanks to our friend, sagereader, over at Think On These Things, breaks it down in this post: Evidence That Clinton Camps Attack On Obamas Drug Use Was Deliberate (Make sure to check out this link, which sites evidence, suggesting the Clinton camp planted the drug dealer line.)

I‘d go further than Rikyrah. George Bush is certainly a great example, but we also shouldn’t forget President Bill “I Didn’t Inhale” Clinton. I don’t remember anyone suggesting that he was going to slang pot and try to turn the white house into the dope house. This playing off some of the most sinister stereotypes of black men, and it is a below the belt tactic. (Reminds me of John McCain’s black child.) And it seems like the media coverage I‘ve seen of these comments routinely ignores the drug dealer line, instead they just say Sheehan questioned Obama’s past drug abuse.1

The other issue that keeps coming up is the accusation that (Gasp!) Obama is Muslim, and that seems to be coming from everywhere including from Clinton associates. Obama is not Muslim, but folks just can’t seem to accept that.

  1. The post also goes into a discussion of Hillary Clinton’s views on drug sentencing and how they may affect African Americans, which is worth the read. [back]

Apparently they are fighting over a nativity scene.

The problem erupted after a Columbus man apparently complained about equality of religions in displays at state parks.

After a letter to the business manager of Ohio State parks regarding symbols of religion, an order came down to remove the nativity scene which the Garden Club has provided. the letter told all start parks in the state to take down their nativity decorations.

On Friday, Dec. 7, Ohio Governor Ted Strickland intervened.

Under current law, government entities (city halls, courts, public schools, etc) can generally acknowledge religious holidays so long as they do not create an impression of endorsement of religion by the government, according to the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU).

Strickland issued an order mandating that Shawnee and all state parks continue their traditional nativity displays.

And he appears to be well within the law, according to the ACLU. “Just because a nativity scene or other religious display appears on government property does not necessarily mean that it is owned or is being displayed by the government, using tax dollars. Many local and some state governments have within their boundaries public areas whereby citizens are permitted to erect displays, including those of a religious nature, of their own choice” says the Ohio ACLU web site.

This is right in my parents’ backyard. This lodge is really fancy (at least by southern Ohio standards), and most of the folks who stay there are upper middle class folks, who come from places like Columbus and Cincinnati to explore the wilderness in the luxury of fancy hotel.

I wish somebody I know would go up there and put up a Menorah, and see how the locals respond. In my experience, a very large majority of southern Ohio folks are all for freedom of religious expression, when it in involves Christianity. But if somebody went up there and put up a Menorah or any other non-Christian symbol, they’d throw a fit.

I remember around the time I graduated from high school when there was some court decision about prayers at graduations. The administrators and students really wanted to have a prayer (of the Christian variety, of course), so they decided that the graduating seniors could vote on whether or not to have a graduation prayer. I bet I was the only person to say that I didn’t want a prayer. Of course, this was a school was everyone was a Christian or person like me, who was tired of Christianity. Nobody was Muslim, nobody was Jewish, and if anyone was an atheist or any other religion they wouldn’t say it publicly.

This is one nice thing about living in a town with a noticeable non-Christian population. There seems to be a great deal more tolerance.

I was reading up on the latest “Nice Guy” coverage over at Pandagon. It’s a short post but a good long discussion. For those of you who have never heard of the term, “Nice Guys” (not be confused with just plain no-caps nice guys) are men who complain that those crazy irrational women won’t have sex with them no matter how nicely they behave. This is because women with average-to-better sanity and intelligence levels would rather have sex with the rude sleazy guys who are honest about what they want instead of the conniving, hypocritical self-described “Nice Guy” who only pretends to be a friend.

The same Nice Guy craigslist rant got picked up by a woman who appears to be sympathetic to the argument. Then Sadly, No! picked it up and highlighted a really offensive comment following the post.

Women: Take note! Asian men treat Asian women like furniture, and Asian women look at American men like were gifts from summit of Mt. Fuji.

Hope you enjoy dating that two-timing, lying piece of human waste you call a boyfirend, because when the nice guys figure out how much Asian women LOVE US, you will be a long-forgotten memory.

I guess you women readers better start treating your man like the gift from summit of Mt. Fuji that he is .

All I really want to do with this post is angle the mirror to focus on another aspect of the invisible standard of whiteness… even though it’s an aspect most readers here are very well aware of already.

Backing up a little bit, I’ll have to say I usually don’t write about my own feminism or get involved in debates over feminism. I do consider myself a feminist, I just don’t have a burning passion to explore or discuss my position. I was raised by an old-school feminist, I’ve briefly studied French feminism and women of color feminism and I would have described myself as “sex-positive” until I actually worked a job at the margins of the sex industry. And that’s pretty much it. My feminism very much informs how I think and act, but I rarely consider it reflexively. I do enjoy reading the views of people who are more passionate about it in that way.

On the level of lived experience, it’s hard to think of a time when I thought of myself as “just a girl” or “just a woman”. I was racialized. I was always an “Asian girl” or an “Asian woman”.

And getting back to the comment, that very first whiny word — “Women:”– shows how that racialization works. “Women” are not Asian. “Asian women” are not women. “Women” are white. And “Asian men” are not “US”. In this context, that’s sort of a good thing.

It seems easy to dismiss Mr. Mt. Fuji. Aside from being a Reformed Nice Guy he’s also a capital L Loser and a capital M Moron. But his attitude is just the concentrated version of one shared by a frightening number of people.

For great investigative journalism into organized racist groups, it’s hard to beat the SPLC Intelligence Report.

Here are my highlights of this quarter’s issue:

1) The Teflon Nativists: FAIR Marked by Ties to White Supremacy. Finally, someone put together all the evidence showing the racist scum at “FAIR” for what they truly are. FAIR are now officially listed as a hate group. Their good buddy Lou Dobbs is fuming, of course.

I have a lot of faith in the impartiality of the SPLC publications. While the vast majority of their coverage is dedicated to white supremacists, they cover other groups in quite generous proportion to their numbers and influence. Some examples are Nation of Yahweh, JDL, La Voz de Aztlan.

Groups like FAIR serve as the normalizing conduit between explicit and implicit white supremacist ideology. Dragging them out of their shadowy gray zone forces people to examine their hatred and take a stand one way or the other.

2) Bad Blood: Attack Illuminates Skinhead Underworld. A custody battle turns ugly and a woman has her throat cut. There’s not a lot of social or legal implication here, just a gripping true crime story.

3) Execution Video Surfaces in Russia. Whoah. A different and very nasty flavor of racist anti-immigration extremism.

4) Behind the Noose. A short editorial about the rising tide of white resentment. The ending left me a bit cold, though. How do we move forward? Ignoring the issue and playing nice are obviously wrong tactics, but what are some of the right ones?

5) Odin Shows Up at Nebraska Beer Bash. On a lighter note.

If you donate to the SPLC, you should receive a paper copy of this publication every quarter.

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