Sep

29

Erase Racism Carnival is Up at Reading Writing and Living

Filed Under Race and Racism, Racism Round-Up | Leave a Comment

The Carnival is really growing, and Susan has managed to piece together a long list of posts for this month. Go check out the posts!

Next month’s Carnival will be held over at Kill Bigotry, and in November the Carnival will be at Eric Stoller’s place.

If you are interested in hosting a future Erase Racism Carnival or submitting a post, you can check out the Carnival Homepage for available dates and contact information.

Sep

29

Spam Filter Eat Your Comment?

Filed Under Blogs Blogging Blogthropology | Leave a Comment

I just found several comments in the spam filter.? If you posted a comment, and it didn’t go through, let me know, so I can try to fish it out. You can email me through the website.

Sep

27

The West Virginia Hate Crime Case: May Be Even Worse Than Previously Reported

Filed Under Black/African American Issues, Gender and Sexism, Race and Racism, Sociology, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

The Wilmington Journal is reporting that young woman in West Virginia who was tortured and sexually assaulted was likely held captive for a month.

All six suspects have now been charged with kidnapping, the most serious charge that can carry up to life in prison upon conviction.

They have all also been charged with at least one count each of first-degree sexual offense, which if convicted, could carry a sentence of up to 35 years behind bars.

Meanwhile, Logan County Sheriffs investigators have now revised their original theory that Ms. Williams was held captive for a week.

In court testimony Tuesday, authorities said theyve determined that Williams had been kidnapped and held against her will at the Big Creek mobile home residence since August 2 well over a month.

There is also a transcript of the young woman’s initial statement to police that has been released. (You probably shouldn’t read it. I read the whole thing, and it is extremely hard to read given the extreme brutality in the case. I was getting teary eye over the thoughts of what happened to this young woman.)

Sep

27

Some of My Best Friends (and Family) Are Racists

Filed Under Black/African American Issues, Family Issues, Interracial Relationships, Original Essays and Analysis, Race and Racism, Sociology, Uncategorized | 26 Comments

Editor’s Note: I don’t often share very personal stories, but I think there is something instructive in this story, so I am prepared to deal with the blowback.

I remember an argument I had with my mother a few years back. I had brought my boyfriend, a black man, who I had been dating for 4 years, to a family picnic. At the picnic, my grandfather and his wife refused to shake my ex-boyfriend’s hand because he was black. I knew something like this was going to happen, as my maternal extended relatives had made numerous bigoted comments going back to my childhood. I felt terrible for putting my ex in that situation, and I felt terrible that nobody in my family stood up and said something. They pretended like nothing happened. I was sobbing and furious, and he and I left the picnic soon after. We stopped at a fast food place, and he said, “I’ve never had anything like this happen to me before. I’m so glad we left.” I was glad to be gone, too.

After leaving I had an over the phone discussion with my mother, where my mother suggested that it was unfortunate that we left because my young cousins were crying. They liked and missed my ex and could not figure out why he had left. Her tone suggested that my ex and I were responsible for my cousins being upset, and perhaps, if we came back, they would stop crying. I remember being furious with my mother’s reaction, and I blurted out, “They should be upset. Racism hurts people. The fact that they are crying is a good thing. Hopefully, when they grow up, they will remember this so they don’t ever treat people that way.”

Later that evening, my mother and some of my aunts and cousins who felt bad about the situation came over to my apartment. I guess it was their way to try to make up for not saying anything at the picnic. They brought my younger cousins, so they could actually talk to my ex and hopefully feel better. At some point, they tried to tell me how my grandfather felt uncomfortable, and he felt like everybody was looking to see what he would do, and he made the claim that this was why he and his wife refused to shake hands. They also reminded me that my grandfather was notorious for being an abrasive person outside of his racism. But I wasn’t having it. To me this was all bullshit. Racist bullshit. Yes, he had been an asshole on other occasions, but this time he was a racist asshole.

I had listened to him and some other relatives in my extended family say pejorative things about blacks and Latinos for years. These offensive comments ranged from using the word nigger, to talking about lazy “colored” people, and making all kinds of statements about Mexican migrant farmworkers. It was rare for anybody but me to challenge this, and I didn’t even do it every time. In fact, it reached a point where people didn’t saying these things around me anymore because they knew I would get mad.1

The next Christmas my father and brother showed their solidarity with my ex (and me) by refusing to attend any events that my maternal grandfather attended.

I half forgave my grandfather and his wife even thought they never apologized and most likely they weren’t sorry for what they did. I’m not exactly sure how my ex dealt with this in the long run. By the time I saw my grandfather again, about 2 years later, I was no longer is that relationship. I had recently found out my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, and I sat at the table and bit my tongue, while trying my best to act friendly. I know my mother, who felt torn over these events, was happy to see me sitting at that table, and I cheered when I saw him again 6 months later, and he announced his cancer had gone into remission. But I can’t lie. I was happy to be living very far away from him; I knew I didn’t have to confront this issue over and over again.

In my first month in New York, he suffered a severe stroke and heart attack. He suffered a great deal for a month or two, and then he passed away. I was sad that he died, and part of that sadness was with the fact that he never confronted any of the pain he visited on others. That racist incident defined my relationship with him over the last few years of his life. It’s really hard to remember the jokes he made when I was a child, before I knew or understood the depth of his bigotry.

This incident didn’t only change my view of him; it still lingers in the background of the relationships with many of my relatives. Some people may believe the lesson in this story is that you should make up with your loved ones before they die, but I don’t see it that way. I didn’t do anything wrong, and I didn’t want to expend any more emotional energy fighting an uphill battle. It would have been nice to get an apology for my ex and myself, but the odds of that happening were slim. To me, the lesson is that racism destroys relationships. It makes, otherwise decent people, turn a blind eye to suffering. The theory that says many white people don’t care about racism because it doesn’t effect them or their loved ones makes sense until you realize that in many cases loved ones are either perpetrators or inactive bystanders when racism is directed at their loved ones.

Racism is so insidious that it anesthetizes people to suffering of others (even others who they care about). It destroys empathetic reactions to human suffering. The victims of racism are expected to be the “bigger people” while the perpetrators get the “Get Out of Racism Free” card. Even when they know racist behavior is wrong and harmful, many white observers of racism suffer from moral paralysis. Rather than doing what is morally right, they do nothing.2

Moral paralysis is learned. It is not something that you are born with. This is actually why I was happy that my little cousins were crying when we left that picnic. Even though they didn’t quite know what was going on or why this situation was bad, it showed me that they hadn’t quite learned to be immune the suffering that racism causes. I hope, nearly 10 years later, they still get upset in those situations. I hope they have the courage to respond to bigots inside and outside our family. It may be the more difficult path to take (as I can attest to), but it’s the right one.

  1. I’d like to think that some stopped because they had a change of heart, but I’m not so convinced. [back]
  2. I’m not saying that it is easy for people who observe racist behavior to speak out. In these cases of family racism, there are often long protracted battles where people choose sides, which is not easy to do when you love someone but don’t love their behavior. Personally, I chose to withdraw rather than lobby for support. Partly, because I knew I was right; partly because I had been fighting on this issue for years prior to this; and partly because I didn’t expect to get too much support. In fact, I suspect that the amount of sympathy my partner and I received would have been inversely related to how much lobbying we did. [back]

Sep

27

I Support the People of Burma

Filed Under Politics, Sociology | 2 Comments

In case you haven’t been paying attention to international affairs, there is a major protest (estimates of 100,000 people) against the military dictatorship in Burma,which is now called Myanmar. The protest, lead by Buddhist monks, has been peaceful, but tension is rising, and as I writing this post I just found out that 4 monks have been killed by the military.

This dictatorship has been in place for 20 years, and the last major protest ended with the military killing thousands of protesters. You can learn more about the history of Burma/Myanmar in this article.

Here’s a photo of the protest from the AFP.

burma-protests.jpg

Caption: “Buddhist monks protest by marching with a banner that reads, “We shall replace (crackdown) unjustice with justice” before police conduct a crackdown in downtown Yangon. Myanmar security forces used batons, tear gas and live rounds Wednesday in a violent crackdown on mass protests against the military junta, killing at least four people including three Buddhist monks.(AFP)”You can also find more info. at Women of Color Blog.

Sep

26

Adrianne Curry: Top Model or Top Racist?

Filed Under Black/African American Issues, Media Praises and Critiques, Pop Culture, Race and Racism, Sociology | 44 Comments

I was looking at my traffic report and found a link from Monica. After following the link, I found a note from one of her commenters Angela, saying that America’s Next Top Model winner Adrianne Curry is spouting off about how she’s boycotting Black History Month and BET. So let’s get this straight, a white woman who was propelled to her D-List status because of a ground breaking African American Model is complaining about Black History Month and BET.

First Curry put up this post:

MY Boycott against BET and Black History Month

Because of my last blog, and all the wonderful feedback I got..it made me think…

This is gonna be hard guys. I LOVE the comedians on BET. I also LOVE the fact that they play my favorite show of all time, In Living Color. However, I do not believe in seperating ANY RACE in America. WE ARE AMERICANS! How dare we have Black History Month! In my eyes, the Native Americans deserve it MUCH more, seeing how we destroyed their ENTIRE SOCIETY. There are hardly any of them left! They also have been proven to have the WORST living conditions on their reservations. I want AN AMERICAN HISTORY MONTH. One where we learn about EVERY race, ALL OF OUR LEADERS, EVERYONE! I think by having a month dedicated to one race, and not one for any other, is RACIST. Every fund set up to only help people of one race is SICK and RACIST.

Yes, I get it. Black people were slaves here once. You know what? That does suck some major balls, however, it is time to move the fuck on. Do we hear the Jews crying that they were made slaves for thousands of years? Do we hear them whine that they should OWN the pyramids in Egypt because THEY broke their backs making them? Do we hear them bitch and moan about Hitler, etc? (my hubby is a Jew)Nope, we dont. It’s time for us to UNITE AS ONE. I do not think that singling out one race, giving one race opportunities to go to college (I know a TON of poor white.asian, indian, american indian, etc etc that could use that too!), giving one race the EXCUSE to blame things on others for being whatever nationality they are, is a good way at making sure we NEVER kill racism.

I am over this shit. WE ALL CAME FROM ONE BLACK WOMAN FROM AFRICA, THAT is our EVE! It has been proven by science, and I stand by it. If any other race had a chanel dedicated to just them, we would think it was racist. If any other race demanded a month be set aside for ONLY them, they would be considered racist. I am NOT living by this double standard any longer.

Think I am racist? I am not. I know what racism is. I dated a guy named “Justin” in Junior high. Nothing serious, but I really liked him. He was the blackest of black…BEAUTIFUL skin, kinda like Alex Wek’s. He was handsome, and athletic, etc. I was called a nigger lover. But you know what? I was called that by a whole 2 people out of a school with HUNDREDS of students. THAT is why I am NOT buying this racist shit anymore. Let us teach or children that there is NO DIFFERENCE! We are all human. I hope one day aliens land and try to kill us. Maybe THEN we would finally realize that WE are ONE.

So, I will no longer tune into BET. This is going to suck, but I do NOT like the idea of having a chanel for only 1 race. In the year 2007 in a country that is supposed to be the most advanced and equal. This is unexceptable! I will also no longer acknowledge Black History Month. Instead, I will see it the way that Morgan Freeman does (I have the quote at the bottom of my last blog on Obama/jesseJackson, and OJ). AMERICAN HISTORY MONTH! I will read/watch/and learn about ALL the people who made a difference in this country.

I am asking you ALL to join me. Black, White, Indian, Asian, Russian, Australian, etc etc…..lets be AMERICANS together! What happened to the African American community was AMERICAN HISTORY, not BLACK HISTORY. If you want to celebrate in a way that excludes others and singles one race out, count me the FUCK out! I am soooo proud to be an American. I am SO proud that I have friends of every race, and none of us see each other as anything but what we are..people. Lets change Black History Month to 2 months of AMERICAN HISTORY. We will still learn about all the black leaders and people who made a difference….just not with the racist name of “Black History Month”. It has to start somewhere. I am going to do my part in making sure we are all treated EQUAL in a country that CLAIMS we are. NO MORE SPECIAL TREATMENT FOR ANYONE WITH ANYTHING!

It will never happen. At least, that is what many of you will say…FINE! My number one priority here is being able to die and know that I stood up for what I believed in, and that I did not add to the SEPERATION OF AMERICANS!! I love my country, I love the people in it. I love our history, good and bad. We should LEARN from it,not dwell in it and not move forward. That’s why I am done with this shit. You are all my brothers and sisters…..even if I think you suck As Bono said, “One life, with each other..sisters…brothers!”

now, have fun burning me at the stake

I think she managed to get every colorblind racist argument in existence in one blog post. She received tons of comments, and many people challenged her, so she followed it up with this post, which basically says “Racism is over. Blacks are racist and separate themselves, and I’m not racist for pointing it out.” Here’s a partial quote (if you want to read the whole thing click here.):

I think it is HORRIBLE that people misunderstood my message. Just because I wanted to stop separating races, doesn’t mean I want to STOP TEACHING HISTORY! Or schools need to teach MORE of ALL of it anyway! I was asking that we not name things to separate ourselves. I never claimed we shouldn’t learn our own history, or that of all the other countries on earth (which we as Americans are pretty bad at). I am very aware of all the amazing things hat black people have done for our country, and we should always be aware of it. However, separating our races sounds like racism to me. It just does. So go ahead, claim I am the one who is ignorant for wanting us all to be EQUAL! Can you believe that? How does that make a fucking lick of sense? Honor your heritage, I know I do. Just make sure that by doing so, you do not seperate yourself from the rest of us! Black History to me would be everything that happened in AFRICA. I lived there for almost 5 months. Visted Robin Island, and saw the cell they held Nelson Mandela in. I witnesses first hand people calling these taxi vans “Black Taxis” and these nice taxi’s “white taxis”. Just vile.THAT is African(black if you will) history. African AMERICAN history is OUR history!

Yes, there was a time when racism ran rapid. It still does in some places. However, it is time for us to rise above it and BECOME ONE, instead of SOME. I wrote my last blog in such hurry and a fury because I felt what I was typing so deeply. I am appalled that anyone would claim I am just some stupid white bitch that doesn’t know shit about anything. I did NOT grow up rich. I did NOT hang out with rich people. Watch the show “Roseanne” and you tell ME if that family seemed well off. That is just about where I came from. My family is blue collar all the way! Just because I worked hard to get where I am it means I don’t know how hard it is to LIVE LIFE? I was addicted to drugs, raped, abused, beaten, etc. I DO NOT DWELL ON IT! I choose to rise above it! I have been beaten up for being “the white girl” a few times, so don’t tell me I don’t know how it feels to be discriminated against.

My message about trying to rise above segregation, separation, and racism has been twisted. Some people are saying I am RACIST for wanting all races to embrace each other! You’re a fucking dumbass if that is what you think! Again, let me make this clear, I DO NOT SUPPORT THE SEPERATION OF RACE IN THIS COUNTRY, ANY RACE. I DO NOT SUPPORT CHANELS OR FUNDS THAT SEPARATE RACE, HENCE ADDING TO RACISM! I never claimed to STOP teaching history that involves black people, I asked to STOP BEING RACIST BY SEPERATING GROUPS BY RACE! Truly educate yourselves on the true definition of segregation.

Monica responded by adding a link to my post “Why there is a BET and Isn’t a WET.”

What would you say to Adrianne?

Sep

25

TIVO Alert: HBO Documentary on Little Rock Anniversary

Filed Under Black/African American Issues, Education and Academia, Race and Racism, Reviews-Books Movies TV Albums | Leave a Comment

For anyone who has HBO and can catch the documentary that airs tonight (and knowing HBO, at odd hours for the next month), please let me know what you thought. My cable doesn’t have HBO, so please, speak clearly and share with the group

According to CNN, there are already people at the school who say that the documentary is one-sided and didn’t portray the school in an positive accurate light. Of course, those comments were from the principal, in the news story I saw, and she is not an ethnic minority. But the lunchroom segregation phenomenon is nothing new, nor is it indigenous to Arkansas. I’m curious to see if the documentary makes any mention of nationwide issues, or limits it to Little Rock.

Sep

25

Do the Republicans Care About Blacks and Latinos? Not If The Debates Are Any Indication.

Filed Under Black/African American Issues, Politics, Race and Racism, Sociology | 28 Comments

I think the answer is no. Nearly all of the Republicans would not participate in the Univision debate((If you don’t know, Univision is a Spanish language network; however, the debate was conducted in English.)), and now they are ducking out of a debate on minority issues hosted at Morgan State University by African American commentator Tavis Smiley. Here’s a summary:

Arizona Sen. John McCain, former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani and former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney have declined to participate in the Sept. 27 debate at Morgan State University. “I feel good,” Smiley said, about the odds of getting former Tennessee senator Fred Thompson. Five candidates trailing in national and state polls will be there.

The Univision debate, co-sponsored by the University of Miami, was scheduled for Sept. 16, but canceled after only one candidate McCain accepted. “We’re looking for a new date,” said Univision spokeswoman Rosemary Mercedes. However, Romney and Giuliani already have declined.

Republican campaigns blamed scheduling conflicts for their candidate’s absence from the Baltimore debate, citing, for example, a McCain speech on Iraq and a flurry of fundraising events before the third-quarter deadline on Sept. 30. All eight Democrats participated in their PBS debate at Howard University and that was on June 28, a similarly frenetic fundraising period.

Kevin Madden, a Romney spokesman, said his candidate has “a very heavy travel schedule” that has led him to decline invitations to several debates.

Florida Sen. Mel Martinez, chairman of the national party, has said GOP candidates are not snubbing Hispanics; they are just busy with other campaign events.

Smiley said he intends to press his case tonight on NBC’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno. “We’re talking about one 90-minute conversation,” he said. “It gives these Republicans a wonderful opportunity. They complain all the time that black and brown voters won’t give them a chance. We offer a platform on PBS.”

Republican presidential candidates typically receive less than 15% of the black vote in general elections and tend to oppose policies important to some minority voters, such as affirmative action. Right now they are competing for conservative primary voters.

You have to wonder–is this 1900 or 2007? How can any reasonable person snub entire constituencies like this? We not talking about just two events. Only Tom Tancredo agreed to appear in an NAACP forum in Detroit, and they have rejected other forums oriented towards blacks and Latinos.

This is so pathetic that even a few of their fellow Republicans are chiding them. Check out this article from the Washington Post:

“We sound like we don’t want immigration; we sound like we don’t want black people to vote for us,” said former congressman Jack Kemp (N.Y.), who was the GOP vice presidential nominee in 1996. “What are we going to do — meet in a country club in the suburbs one day? If we’re going to be competitive with people of color, we’ve got to ask them for their vote.”

Making matters worse, some Republicans believe, is that the decision to bypass the Morgan State forum comes after all top GOP candidates save McCain declined invitations this month to a debate on Univision, the most-watched Hispanic television network in the United States. The event was eventually postponed.

“For Republicans to consistently refuse to engage in front of an African American or Latino audience is an enormous error,” said former House speaker Newt Gingrich (Ga.), who has not yet ruled out a White House run himself. “I hope they will reverse their decision and change their schedules. I see no excuse — this thing has been planned for months, these candidates have known about it for months. It’s just fundamentally wrong. Any of them who give you that scheduling-conflict answer are disingenuous. That’s baloney.”

Former Republican National Committee chairman Ken Mehlman urged candidates to “reconsider this opportunity to lay out their vision and other opportunities in the future.”

“Every one of these candidates I’ve talked to is sincerely committed to offering real choices to African American and Hispanic voters, and in my opinion have records that will appeal to many of these voters,” he added.

Mehlman, a longtime aide to President Bush, aggressively courted the minority vote as RNC chairman in 2005-06. He recruited black candidates to run for office as Republicans and condemned electoral tactics that showed hints of race-baiting.

Mehlman’s successor at the RNC was Sen. Mel Martinez (Fla.), a backer of legislation that would allow illegal immigrants now in the country to stay and eventually become citizens.

Except for McCain, the top GOP candidates have distanced themselves from that proposal, which Kemp worries will become another strike against the GOP with Hispanics. Bush received 40 percent of the Latino vote in 2004, but the Republican base remains inflamed about illegal immigration, leading the candidates to focus on border-control proposals.

Some may say, “Why try to court votes that you have little chance of winning?” However, this misses the larger issues. First, this will not only alienate blacks and Latinos. Many moderate whites will find this suspicious, so they risk alienating whites who would like to see the Republican party as non-racist and open to everyone. Unlike their black and Latino counterparts, I think moderate whites will be much more likely to bamboozled by the empty platitudes about reaching out to people of color. The second point is that this is demographic suicide for Republicans. The country is changing, and no matter how many border fences they try to build, they are faced the reality that people are color are going to make up half the population in this country within the next 30-40 years. When you spend an inordinate amount of time lambasting the largest minority group, then you could hurt your party’s future, as this article from the Hispanic Business Journal notes.

Before I end up writing a how to manual for Republicans , let me make a few more criticisms. The Republicans know that they have created policies that are harmful to blacks and Latinos, which is why they don’t have the nerve to tell Latinos to their face that want to cut immigration and incarcerate immigrants. They don’t have the nerve to tell blacks that they are fine with the fact that numerous blacks are sitting in jails on drug charges while whites with similar charges go free. If they really believed that their policies are helping people, then they don’t need to hide from people of color and pretend like they don’t exist.

Sep

25

Criminal Injustice in Long Island, NY?

Filed Under Black/African American Issues, Race and Racism, Sociology | Leave a Comment

I saw this story on the news last night. They had a video of the prelude to the altercation, but I couldn’t find much more information than this:

OCEANSIDE, N.Y. – Advocates for a black man charged with assault after a racially tinged brawl outside a Long Island restaurant say he was the victim, and bias was the motive.

The group 100 Blacks in Law Enforcement Who Care and the National Latino Officers Association pressed authorities Saturday to drop the case against 24-year-old Aloysius Staton. His lawyer has said a group of white men started the fight by making racist threats.

The groups want prosecutors to pursue charges against the white participants in the fracas at a fast-food restaurant in Oceanside in June. One of the white men was injured.

A spokesman for Nassau County District Attorney Kathleen Rice says prosecutors have been investigating the other participants’ role in the melee.

I’ll follow the details of the case as they emerge.

Sep

24

The 50th Anniversary of Little Rock’s Desegregation…

Filed Under Black/African American Issues, Education and Academia, Family Issues, Race and Racism | 9 Comments

Today is the 50th Anniversary of the Little Rock, Arkansas public school desegregation that occurred when President Eisenhower sent the US Army to enforce Brown Vs. the Board of Education. NPRs Morning Edition? has an interesting first-person account thats worth a listen from one of the soldiers in 1957 who was brought in to escort 9 black teenagers entering Central High. Previously, a mob augmented by the state National Guard had blocked the teenagers from entering the school, but this time the protestors failed to show.

Weve had race-based admission debated by the US Supreme Court, and every spring brings another tale of segregated proms. For me the more pressing issue? is the de-facto segregation that exists in many regions of the U.S., either due to actual local ethnic makeup (its hard to manufacture diversity where very little exists), or due to socio-economic disparities (a struggling, failing, or underfunded public school system that causes parents with options, who are often but not exclusively white, to not participate in the district). I feel for parents, ethnic minorities or not, who want a better, safer education for their children, and therefore a diverse school environment falls in priority. I also feel for parents who dont have the financial option of a parochial or private school for their children their kids deserve the same educational foundations and safe learning environment as anyone elses.

Most public school districts in my area of the country are dictated by geography unless you can prove an extreme need on the part of an individual child, your address determines which public school you attend. (Caveat: I know some districts, like New York City, are different). Even public charter schools, which tend to be more flexible, take your home address into account. Suburban sprawl and white flight or really, upper-middle-class flight, from cities and older suburbs have increased segregation in the Philadelphia regions public school systems.

Im looking askance at my local public school district even as I write. My infant daughter is years away from entering school, but Im feeling pressure to start at least evaluating whether public school is an option. Our suburban school district is by all accounts very good, and our local elementary school is more diverse than some others in the district. Since Im not a product of the public school system, but my mother teaches within one, I have a partial-outsider status. I have a bias towards private and parochial schools – smaller classes, individual attention, more discipline, moral development classes that go beyond doctrine, etc. We wont be able to afford a private school, so Im looking at parochial Catholic schools in the area. Aside from a lack of student diversity, Im noticing a lack of teacher diversity too. I was stunned recently to realize that in 19 years of private Catholic schools, at 3 different schools (elementary, high school, and college-level), I have had 1 ethnic minority teacher. That was in my preschool. My college had other ethnic minorities? as assitant professors and professors,? but they never taught my courses. My primary and secondary schools, however, simply didn’t HAVE any minority teachers. All my schools paid lip-service to diversity and their devotion ended at their lips. Im determined for my daughters sake to do better. Im just not sure how.

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